Life

#WLW Weight Loss Wednesday, Week 11 (& Some Thinspiration)

Once again I’m linking up with Twice the Mum for #WLW. I really hope I have some positive news to share with you this week! I have really dug my heels in with this #WLW malarky although it has made me rather emotional and then I did fall off the bandwagon Sunday and Monday due to a horrible cold and all I wanted was sugar, sugar and more sugar as comfort food! However when I weighed myself during my in between week I had managed a loose, so lets hope I have still managed down that path! 
Starting Weight – 9st 10lbs
Today’s Weight – 9st 7lbs
Gained/Loss – Maintained
Total Loss = 3lbs
So yeah, maintained, or actually put back on the pound I lost on my in between week. I’m not surprised as I have practically been living on jam on toast as it’s one of the few things I can taste at the moment. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day as they say!

I also want to share with you my “thinspiration”. While I was visiting the other week we got talking about weight loss and ended up browsing the net of pictures of ourselves thinner to spur us on with our dieting. Bee blogged about her own “thinspiration” on Twice the Mum last week and I said I’d be doing the same on this weeks #WLW post. So here I am.
I’m always reluctant to bandish weightloss words around on my blog in case there is any backlash from it… however I just want to say I in no way believe I am fat, in fact I’m well within the healthy weight on the BMI scale.. But I am not happy with my current size. This is the biggest I’ve ever been and for my height, I don’t feel comfortable. I don’t have curves to balance my weight out, my chest is small as are my hips and bum. I look at photos of myself and if I haven’t posed in a flattering position or taken a million photos with my remote and I actually cry. If I’m going to go on holiday and have to wear very little to survive in the heat, I need to be happy with myself. I don’t want to loose ridiculous amounts, I just want to be a comfortable size 10. That’s my target. This is for me. Hell, I’m single and if I ever want to get my kit off in front of anyone again I need to be okay with that!
Anyway, I hope I’ve explained myself enough. Here are the photos for a little show & tell. 

Firstly, a recent photo. This was taken at Bee’s birthday at the end of May. It kinda makes me want to burst into tears just editing it. It’s the photo I should print out and stick on the fridge every time I go for a bedtime snack….

 So now lets rewind a few years, back to when I was 22-23…
This photo is me at my all time thinnest, the dress I’m wearing is a size 6 and on the whole I was a 6-8 and weighed less than 8 stone. I was pretty proud of this, however two weeks after this photo was taken, three days before Christmas I ended up in hospital being accused of having an eating disorder. Which in hindsight, I probably did have through working about 50+ hours a week. This was the Christmas before LM was born, little did I know the following year I’d be heavily pregnant and miserable. I was having so much fun at this point, saving like crazy to go travelling and partying ridiculously hard. I was happy. Maybe that’s what I associate with being this thin, how much fun I had that year. How young and stupid I was. This is the only time I walked into a room and thought I was “hot”. This is the only year I’ve ever been vain enough to think I was attractive. Anyway, moving on, here are a few more photos from that year. This is an unrealistic goal, even when I put on a little more weight between January & May (doctors orders, ha) I still know I’ll never be an 8 again. 

Look at those THIGHS!
Sorry Jess, a ridiculously sweaty night in Cubes, my lip is all swollen from kissing haha!
 
Those are the best I can find because a) my ex destroyed a lot of photos pre-him and b) I was always behind the camera but you can see in general how think my face, arms and legs are. As I mentioned above, these are unrealistic. I don’t live the kind of life to ever achieve it plus it’s rather unhealthy! 
So how about some more realistic goals. For these on the whole I have to go back to my late teens, early twenties.
I’m afraid it’s another collage, all these photos are taken from either disposable camera’s scanned in or back when Facebook used to resize everything and I have nothing on my hard drive pre-2012 thanks to my ex so these will have to do. There are some from University back in 2006, right up until 2009/2010! These are when I’ve been a size 10, the size I’m not aiming for. Which is about 1 & a half dresses down depending on where I shop and weighing the upper end of 8 stone. 
I clearly like to drink!
But ultimately, if I have to have one goal photo, it’s one from just Christmas past, the Ho Ho Homicide murder mystery. I had managed to slim back to 9 stone as I wanted to eat my weight in cheese over Christmas and I love the photos of myself dressed as an elf. This is my ultimate thinspiration!
Also congratulations to Nat & Bee for doing much better than me this week, head over to Twice the Mum to see their progress.
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