I’m a natural born worrier, it’s no wonder I suffer from anxiety and insomnia because I literally worry about every single thing. I’m also a pessimist and I’m always focusing on the worst case scenario. This has definitely gradually got worse since I became a mother. Every year as Little Miss gets older I have a new set of worries to consider and being on my own makes it feel like I have the whole weight of the world on my shoulders because I have no one to reassure me my worries are unfounded when I’m lying awake in the middle of the night. I do understand that every parent has worries so I thought today I’d share my biggest worries about the future. Some of these are personal, some of these are worries that seem to be shared by other families in the country, as seen on a survey conducted by My Voucher Codes that you can read all about here.
Housing and House Prices
I have already considered the fact that I may well never be able to afford a house of my own. I do live in a council house but I do pay rent. The house will never be mine although I can do anything I want to it unlike if it was privately owned. Unless I marry someone and together we can afford a house, it won’t happen.. My parent’s house is paid off and one day I will own half of that (with my sister) but I won’t have anything I can pass on to Little Miss and that scares me. And if I’m unable to afford my own house, how will I be able to help LM afford hers? My parents can’t even help my sister and I and they are a lot better off than I ever will be. House prices and rent just continues to climb. Each year mine goes up, as does my water, gas and electricity. I’m terrified because LM comes from a low income family that she’ll never have anything nice once she’s out on her own.
When I was at school the education was already on the down slide, but now it’s even worse. I could tell you horror stories about the local high school. Even with the best teachers around (some of my friends teach and they work night and day to keep up with the demanding work load) there is just less and less money going into the education system. Not only that but so many children have such little respect for teachers now and the teachers have no way of disciplining them. I hate the idea of sending Little Miss to a school where the kids don’t even respect their elders, the idea of her being bullied like I was in school by those particular kids makes me sick to my stomach. I’m such an over protective parent the thought of anyone ever hurting LM breaks my heart. I know deep down I can’t protect her forever but it doesn’t stop me wanting to.
With loosing both my grandfathers in the space of 6 weeks this year I have some new founded fears to do with illness and loss. Firstly, loosing my mum. Secondly, falling ill myself. The fear of leaving LM alone in the world is real. We only have each other. Thirdly, loosing Little Miss or even her getting sick. This fear sends me into panic mode so fast that if I feel my mind wandering I have to stop it instantly in anyway I can before I’m a mess. Little Miss is my whole world and the idea of not having her actually stops my heart. I know some illnesses can’t be avoided but with so little money going into the NHS and medical research at the moment because the country is so strapped for cash, this is probably my biggest fear.
The Law Regards to Nuclear Families
For some reason the law has got it into their heads that a child needs a mother and a father to be a functioning member of society. But what if their father (or mother) isn’t even fit to be a human, let alone a father? This is the case with Little Miss. I was in a domestically abusive relationship with her father and the idea that a court of law could force me to let him be part of her life keeps me up a lot. They have no idea. They make it so hard to get financial aid now too. You read about these extremist parents that murder their children just to get back at their ex.. yep.. he’s one of those.
And of course I worry about safety itself. Every day there is another terror threat or mention that war is brewing. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in that kind of world. Living in fear of terrorist attacks, of nuclear bombs that could wipe out the whole country. Although this is an extreme worry, 40% of families worry about this sort of thing which makes it even sadder that this is common concern and now just something my over active imagination dreams up to stop me sleeping.
A lot of these things are out of my control, but as my mother I see one of my main jobs as keeping my daughter safe. I made her. I fought for her. And I love her to the ends of the earth.