Well today was a big day, one I’ve been dreading but one Little Miss has been so excited about. After three & a half years Little Miss has said goodbye to her nursery and pre-school as she gets ready to make the huge leap to primary school!
I cannot believe I had a daughter whom is old enough to start school in September. I remember the first time I held her and she was tiny, starting school seemed so far into the future yet it’s now only 7 weeks away. I’m not ready, but I know she is and she said goodbye to the staff and some of her friends without a tear and this wasn’t because she didn’t realise that she wouldn’t be going back, it’s because she’s really ready for the next stage, even though I’m not.
Little Miss started at the nursery/pre school officially when she was 14 months old. My mum (as an early yeats specialist) felt that LM was incredibly clingy due to me being a single parent and needed to be in a social environment before reaching compulsory school age. She wouldn’t go to anyone, she wanted me constantly and it was both exhausting and unhealthy. In the beginning she went for two 2 & a half hour sessions, giving me a 5 hour break a week. At the time she had only been walking a couple of months, she couldn’t talk much yet and was in essence due to her size, still more a baby that a toddler. As hard as it was in the beginning, looking back now after 3 & a half years, I know it was the best thing for her.
She fast made friends, her speech came on leaps and bounds, and her imagination play was beyond her years. At three her hours increased to 15 a week, 5 three hour sessions as she received government funding. For the first year and a half my mum and Nanny had paid to help me, but now she was free she could go more and she really needed it. She started to learn her phonics, start to write, look at numbers… Between myself and the pre-school section of nursery she was getting the educational support she badly craved being such a bright kid, she has always wanted to learn and has a million questions. I couldn’t have got her to the level of understanding of her letters, sounds, numbers and social skills without the support of her pre-school. But for me 15 hour is enough, I’m not ready for that to double.
Today she had her leavers party. She picked out her dress and her bow herself. I baked cupcakes to take and she picked out present for the staff. At 12pm she was done. As we walked out of her pre-school for the last time it felt like I was saying goodbye to the last thing that made her still feel like a baby or toddler. Leaving pre-school ready to start primary is what feels like the official start of her being a child. She will go all day straight away due to her birthday being in January and I’m just not ready for that. I’m not ready for the school uniform or the fact she’ll have lunch away from me every day. I’m not ready for homework, tests, school reports. She’s small for her age and since there is just the two of us, I feel heartbroken at the fact my house will be empty over 6 hours a day. But I have to understand, she is, she’s more than ready and I have to accept that and let her go.
As a last day of pre-school treat we walked to Asda so she could get her favourite snack box and then we took the bus home. Our afternoons together are coming to the end but she’ll always be my baby.
Over the summer I’ll be doing a series of posts about getting ready for starting school, both Little Miss and myself. Look out for them!